Warning: Do NOT read this if you have so far thought of me as a compassionate, loving, and gentle human being. To those who know me as a sick fuck, read on…

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Esther von Marie. Esther loved to play in the woods, amidst the birds and flowers. Esther didn’t have any friends, so the forest became her friend. Every morning her mother would give her a pail to fetch water from the stream. She would skip and hop over the rocks, and pick fresh fruits and berries, as she pranced through the forest.

Then one day, Burra, the big bad wolf entered the forest. Burra was hungry, and horny. He hadn’t eaten in days, and hadn’t fucked since his girlfriend left him for the wandering bear. Apparently his cock was bigger than Burra’s, and Burra knew that for a fact. Just as he entered the forest of Ezilgah, Burra notices this little girl hopping through the bushes. Burra couldn’t believe his eyes! She was his perfect victim! He jumped her, raped her without the least bit of trouble. Esther was crying like a little girl—well she was a little girl to start with—since she didn’t understand what was happening. Burra paid no attention, satisfied himself, and then killed and ate her up down to the last bone.

Then, as he rested in the shade, he notices Esther’s mother Elsie approaching; she was searching for her daughter who hadn’t returned. Burra’s jumped in joy, “fuck yeah!”. He mounted the mother, and raped her too. Unlike the little girl though, the mother enjoyed every bit of burra’s comparatively big organ. By the time Burra was done with her she quite forgot about her daughter. Truth be told, Esther was quite a pain to raise, so in a way Elsie was relieved. She invited Burra into her house, and they lived happily ever after.

The End.

I wrote this while resting in the shade of a tree on the way home from my trip into the Nilgiris. I think I’m pretty good at writing children’s stories—as is evident from this masterpiece—and will strive to write more and hopefully turn it into a full blown children’s book. “The little girl who got raped, and other great stories by Goobi”.

This post may contain factual errors. Nuff said.

Pappi assigned me on a photographic task, of snapping pictures of the Candolim beach being eroded by the River Princess. The River Who? In June 2000, an ore carrying barge drifted out of its dock, an lodged itself in the shallow waters of the Candolim-Calangute bay. What followed was 9 years of bureaucracy, red tape, and court cases, none of which yielded any results in getting the fucking boat out of the waters. If you’re ever looking for a good example of the failure of democracy, this is it.

So, 9 years later, how bad can it be? It’s just one boat, stuck in sand around 100 meters into the sea. Let me paint you a picture of the stretch of beach that has made Goa one of the hottest tourist spots. The white sands stetched across 10 kilometres from end to end, wide enough to run a four lane highway through it. While the sea kept the edges wet and hard, the body of the beach was filled with dry sand, free of any debris or dirt, with nary a plastic bag in sight.

Of course, tourism took its toll on the beach as it got crowded, busy, and littered with plastic. But the beach itself was always laden with sand, that even withstood the construction industry’s constant plunder. So you can imagine my surprise when I lay sight on it with my Nikon in hand; to find the entire fucking beach had disappeared! Right from aguada fort to beyond candolim, the entire beach had withered away into a two metre wide wet muddy banks, one which you can’t take a pleasant walk on, let alone relax. I don’t have the before pics, but you can certainly see what’s happening as the aftermath.

You can see the boat in the distance

Government tries to stop the sea with sand bags. Fucking jokers.

See that rocky stretch in between? I’ve never seen those rocks before.

A stretch of beach that’s not affected by the boat (the other side), although you can see what tourism has done to ruin it as well.

The River Princess is just a symbol of our Government’s incompetence.

It’s the season of whine, and I’ve got a particularly delicious one up my sleeve. I’ve been a Mac user for the last five years, loving ever minute of ‘the switch’. Every time I use a Windows PC I’m reminded of the horror that the majority has to go through every day. Yes, I’m an active Windows 7 user as well.

But there are still things that these computer fuckers have not yet gotten right. Given that computers have evolved from manually assembled switchboards and monochrome monitors, computer makers have forgotten to take the leap forward in rethinking what’s possible with modern day technologies. I’m here to bring that up so that Apple, Microsoft, Google, and that sorry kid in the corner, Linux can take notice.

Not really relevant to the writeup, but I’ll be pimping these images here from time to time

- When it shows me my desktop, it should be ready to use. Loading it part by part, and then the apps, is just old school. Do all that nonsense behind a spinny cursor, and then show me the desktop complete with fade in. The iPhone does this right.

- I want to delete a file, let me delete it. Of course, make sure I know what I’m doing and authorize the deletion of an important file, but by god let me delete it. Windows has progressively deteriorated with each release. But you can’t blame them really; everyone’s trying to fuck with Windows.

- Replace the Save button with Unsave. Every file should be saved no matter what. More importantly, everything should be shoved into an open database, and ‘files’ should only be limited to sending documents via email. There could be intelligent UIs that give weightage to files, such that you can mark files for auto-deletion, and such. Okay that’s a terrible solution, but you know what I mean.

- Keep your alerts to yourself. I’ve written about this in the past, I just hate alerts and dialog boxes. The very fact that there are alerts in the first place is wrong enough. That I have to drop everything to attend to them is just plain fucking stupid.

- Figure out how to talk to other computers. How hard can it be? Macs are experts at networking, not requiring the least bit of configuration to see each other. But we live in a Windows world for now, and networking to those PCs is quite important. Bonjour for Windows Networking please!

- Stability of core functionality more important than features. I hate buggy software. Just make sure the app performs its function, as best as possible. There’s no point in adding features people can’t use. Once the existing featureset is bug free, add features in beta, make sure they perform totally awesomely, then make them ‘public’. The very fact that the x.x.1 update comes along just days after a major release shows that someone was hungry for cash. And by “beta” I don’t mean Google’s beta. I mean not freely available beta.

- Play music without jerking around. No process should take priority over playing notes out of a music player. I mean come on, if a 1 inch iPod Shuffle can do it, so can a gigahertz powerhouse.

The Mac is halfway there to this ‘perfect computer’ goal of mine. Windows on the other hand has a lot to catch up on. Linux? Forget about it! You will have better luck getting in the air with a home-made hot air balloon made out of garbage scraps.